The Cupcake Solution

I have discovered the solution to all of the world's problems. Einstein spent years searching in vain for the unifying theory of the universe, Gallileo redefined how we viewed the movements of our planet as part of the larger galaxy and throughout history men have conquered and fought to build empires and advance their citizens into new vistas of wealth and power. We have made fire, split the atom and created the supercomputer. Men and women have painted great works of art and sculpted statues that are so beautiful that even we cannot believe that they were created by mortals. In the face of all of these achievements, we still have starvation, poverty and homelessness. Our global economy is in crisis and the world seeks a global solution. Standing in the grocery check out line today the answer occurred to me. As humans and the dominant species on planet earth we need to embrace the awsome power of...cupcakes!

Cupcakes can be made from almost any food like substance. Cupcakes are easily transported and can be stored indefinetly. Cupcakes have an internationally recognizable size and shape and even if they are made of spinach and spam kids will eat 'em up. If a person is socially isolated and lonely all they have to do is go pick up a cupcake at the supermarket and people will approach them curiously asking them about their snack. If a person needs to find a way to use leftovers to feed the family then cupcakes offer the perfect way to disguise the remains of last night's meatloaf. Cupcakes can be dropped from an airplane to the starving children of the world making relief efforts easier because the planes do not have to land to deliver their cargo. Best of all, when addressing the problems facing our global economy and Third World debt, let's not forget that bake sales can be our very own grass roots solution to the problem and cupcakes can lead the charge (ahead of brownies and cookies) on fold out tables on church lawns all over the country.

Save the whales! Fight bigotry and ignorance! Help kids learn to read! Build homes for the homeless! End strip mining, slash and burn deforestation, nuclear arms proliferation and global warming!

Get those girl scouts mobilized and put the mighty cupcake to work for world peace and global harmony! We can do it!