"Tramp-tramp-tramp; thats the dead; tramp-tramp-tramp; the're coming after me; but I won't go-Oh, they're here! don't touch me-don't! hands off-they're cold; let go- Oh, let a poor devil alone!"Quote from 'Huckleberry Finn' by Mark Twain
There are currently over 1000 billionaires in the United States. A billion is equal to one thousand million: 1 000 000 000 or 10 to the 9th power. Last night I was watching a television show about the 'super rich', how they live their lives and spend their money. It turns out that the billionaire that was profiled on the show made his money buying and selling companies for a profit and he continues to do this even though he clearly has lots of money. He continues to work, "because it is challenging." I watched this businessman board his private jet and fly to his yacht in Florida with his friends. I learned that this person has four children and is divorced and suddenly, I found myself thinking about fear. What could this person be afraid of with all of his wealth, connections and power?
As a college student in San Jose, California I had a chemistry lab partner named, Penny who later went on to become a physician. Penny was 'bookish' and slightly built with a pixie haircut and large round glasses. You might see her in passing and think that she should be a librarian or a kindergarten teacher. She was quiet with a wry sense of humor. She had a boyfriend somewhere and seemed to do well on her chemistry tests. I always asked her how she was doing to make polite conversation. As the weeks and months went by I learned that Penny was addicted to gory, slasher movies. 'Halloween', 'Halloween II', 'Night of the Living Dead' and movies like that were her genre of choice. Penny did'nt just rent these films she would actually go out and walk the streets of downtown San Jose (not known to be a quaint, safe town in those days) buying tickets to go into dark movie theaters in the middle of the night. She would sometimes finishing one horror movie, leave that theater and go out to find another one the same night in a different theater!
I spend a good part of each day with my patients discussing, processing and grappling with fear and anxiety. The physical and emotional manifestations of fear constitute the majority of my work as a doctor. Fear begets anxiety which leads to perseverating thoughts which lead to sleeplessness, poor nutrition, gastritis, chest pain, headaches and....more fear.
I came to the conclusion (after seeing the billionaire on his jet and yacht and walking around in one of his mansions) that his fears are probably the same ones that plague us all and that his money has not granted him any more peace than the rest of us have. My lab partner, Penny must have her own tidy packet of fears but these do not, obviously include the fear of being surprised in a dark room and hacked to death with a pair of pruning shears. The internet is a great place for people to discuss their fears and to find communities of like minded anxious and fearful people to commisurate with. Fear is a defense mechanism but I wish there was a way we could just snip that gene out of our human DNA and just get back to the old 'fight-or-flight' problems that the gazelles and the gophers have to deal with.
Author's Note:
I've never actually seen a slasher movie or met a billionaire (but movies that feature pruning shears give me the willies.)
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