Special Purpose

Navin: "Wait a minute - what's happening to my special purpose?"

Patty: "What's your special purpose?"

Navin: "Well when I was a kid my mom told me... there goes my special purpose! And someday I'd find out what my special purpose was!"

Patty: "Today's the day!"

Navin: (the whole trailer shakes) "Hey, this is like a ride!"

The Jerk - 1979

Now that my family is getting older and my kids are starting to wise up to "things", I find myself reaching back for humorous references to sex as a way of comforting my soul. Father's are not supposed to be very comfortable with explaining these things to their daughters. I would think that with all of my experience, it would be pretty simple. But my insides get all twisted up and I find myself wanting to just change the subject when it comes up or when I think the conversation will suddenly lurch towards human reproduction.

Kids just spring this stuff on you without warning. One minute you are talking about math homework or the gravity on the moon and the next minute you are comparing tampons to pads. I paste a stupid smile on my face and say, "Gee, I'm not sure how much a tampon weighs on the moon" and they look at me like I'm someones poor, lost, injured, ugly cat.

Guess I'll just practice my lessons on life in the mirror just in case so I don't look too much like an idiot to my daughters. That would not be cool.

Thank goodness for Steve Martin.